Subject: Self-Introduction Letter
Hi Professor Brad Blackstone,
My name is Edwin Goh and I am a first-year mechanical design and manufacturing engineering(MDME) student enrolled in your critical thinking and communicating module. I graduated from temasek polytechnic in 2020 with a diploma in business process and systems engineering, and I decided to pursue a career in engineering because I prefer hands-on work over office work in the business sector.
In my free time, I enjoy participating in various sports such as basketball, swimming, running, and working out in the gym. I also play volleyball competitively for the school team. One of my traits is that I enjoy bringing people together as it brings harmony and happiness to everyone, and I get joy from seeing others enjoy hanging out with one another.
One of my strengths in communication is being able to convey my points clearly and concisely to the other party. I try to be short and precise in my words because I want my point to be heard and to avoid any miscommunication. However, one of my weaknesses is that I may come across as rude and insensitive towards others, even though I did not mean to hurt them. I only wanted to tell them the truth about how I feel in a given situation.
Through this module, I hope to learn how to communicate in a nicer and friendlier tone so that I do not come across as rude. I also want to learn how to construct my sentences in a clearer manner to avoid confusion.
Thank you for your time.
Best Regards, Edwin Goh
Edwin's letter is well written as it addresses all the points stated in the tasks. His introduction is clear and concise making it easy for me as a reader to understand it. His organisation can be improved by dividing his strengths and weaknesses into 2 paragraphs so that the reader can easily identify the topic of the paragraph. Overall, well done :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback!
DeleteHi Edwin, thank you for spending sometime to share with us about you. Other than the sentence structure for a few sentences, I feel that it covers all the points tasked and made it easy for me to know you better. Thank you for the effort!
ReplyDeleteAppreciated for your feedback!
DeleteDear Edwin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and informative letter. The content is well aligned with the assignment brief, you present your thoughts in a clear and well-organized manner and the language use is quite fluent. You've also mentioned your interest in "hands on work" and how that has impacted your study choice, but I feel that this could be illustrated in ore depth.
You give us more detail as you explain your hobbies and an assessment of your own comm skills.
You also demonstrate a willingness to improve in areas like tone and language use, which will be important as you move forward on your study and eventual career path.
There is one minor issue in this letter with caps:
-- I graduated from temasek polytechnic in 2020... > ?
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Thank you Prof Brad!!! I’ll work on the areas which needs to improve!
DeleteWell written letter Edwin! You're well spoken and your points are straightforward and concise. however contrary to your letter, I have found you friendly and forthcoming in our interactions. I do look forward to working with your more this semester!
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
ReplyDelete